Tales from the Dance Jam #11
OH.. MY.. GOD! That's really about all I need to write about Dance Jam last night. The rest of it is mere detail, an attempt to recreate an experience in words for myself, none of which will recreate the events themselves. The connections, the visualizations, the magick, the ritual, the kinetics... but if you've read the other ten journal entries thusfar, you know this. Cybersocket Magazine calls HipFaerie "a cyber window into the life of Shaggy," and indeed these ramblings have given some readers enough insight to know what the Dance experience is like, for me anyway - it's indescribable.
But I try anyway for my own entertainment. What was the preview I proffered? "Here I hold Zahara's hand, peacefully bridged across the street, here in the still of night under light of the waxing moon..." Heh heh I have no idea what I said. But I found it rather amusing to be greeted at the door last night by one of the coordinators of Dance Jam, who had found this space in searching for "Dance Jam" in the various search engines. He also alerted my erstwhile dancing friend, Zahara, that she was being written about on the Internet! She found that VERY amusing, but she still doesn't know it's me doing it! Hahaha.. she could be pissed, she could be elated. Who knows. I guess that's a consideration for public journals. But at any rate, it's fun and good to know I'm travelling SOMEWHERE in cyberspace!
So I guess my usual mode of writing immediately after the Jam, while the memories are fresh, didn't pan out. I stayed rather late, talking with Zahara about an amazing connection she had with someone near a natural spring, in a tide pool, under a waterfall, or somesuch somewhere. Right out of a movie for sure! It was inspiring to connect about relationships and serendipitous meetings with people and knowing that they will happen when we listen and are receptive to what the Universe brings us. Sorry, I'm not too articulate today... so much of last night was indeed about being in the moment, and drinking up the present, that now it's like searching the past for something specific that can only be found as an impression somewhere stored in my body. And that's perfect for me, I feel like I really absorbed juicy bits of wisdom and soul food last night, and now my aim is to reflect them, to radiate them, and be that inspiration that I found.
I just realized that while Zahara and I traded our usual bodywork, we didn't dance together! I did, however, manage to find myself in an intense, sweaty, close dance session with a very pretty and friendly Asian boy shortly after arriving. All we could do was laugh with each other, words just weren't really working! All night I found the keys to ecstatic dance are surrender and presence. By staying present, and enjoying each moment - not planning for the future, or reflecting on the past - I was in a state of unity with existence, which by its nature is ecstatic, and my confidence in my true nature was strong. By surrendering to the flow of the dance, I did not fall, trip, injure or get injured, but rather felt the fullness of movement and of stillness, of wild gesture and subtle motion. And I could only stay with my own experience, without guessing what another might be feeling or thinking or how they are reacting. And at Dance Jam, that gets talked about sometimes, but usually not. Most just thank the universe and the temple gods for the experience, for the moments of truth and beauty, and then move on.
After the crazed ecstatic boy-dance, I made my way to the Warm Room to relax and cool off. The Bindi Brothers were weaving way-cool grooves with a tasty bass line and delicious percussion. Mika, whom I may have described previously in the context of great drumming and percussive fun, sat in with them throughout the night. I found a cozy pillow on which to rest my weary sweating bones. And not long after, two very pretty longhaired men began writhing over each other directly in front of me, first grooving on each other's subtle dance of exploring their own body's motion and gravity. Then they came into contact for a jam that was really wild and inspiring, heart-opening and emotional, skilled and poised, going to the edge of the universe, about to drop one another and let go, but never going over the edge, staying balanced, full trust of each other. Hot. Sweating. Suggestive. Erotic. Rubbing crotch drawing phallic symbols in the air smelling smiling gripping sliding crawling between legs. One drops to the floor and rolls up, facing the ceiling, between the other's legs. He opens his mouth, not just dropping the jaw but curling the mouth as though beckoning for it to be filled. The other stands over him smiling, staring, sweat begins dripping off his nose and forehead and onto the floor. He notices this ultimately, and repositions so his sweat falls into the other's mouth. There's this intense stream of energy between them, homoerotic, yet in the usual way it's non-sexual at the same time, writhe in the bisexual/asexual ambiguity which is Dance Jam. I got so turned on and filled with the lust of the gods dancing in the woods, Pan rising from behind a bush with an erection, playing the songs of ancient deities on his pipes, a dancing trickster beckoning the boys to dance with him in the grove, naked and free... whew, leave the room Shaggy, leave the room...
For the ladies in the audience reading, many of the women went topless, and engaged in some hot and very creative contact jams, danced wildly, expressing their bodies and their visions and emotions in a pageant of earthly delights. This isn't all about men; those are just my perceptions and experiences as a gay man. There's some solid and lovely female energy going on here all the time.
Circle was delightful, so many radiant faces. I put out feelers for housing, as well as for a studio space to rent and teach a bodywork class. Had responses on both, and will be checking out a lovely space in the East Bay to hold a bodywork workshop this summer. Met some great folks and generated some wonderful and nurturing ideas in the process.
The homoerotica continued closer to home with a contact dance with a beautiful brother who regularly visits this sacred temple. There's almost never the question of sexuality or intimacy.. your spheres of influence merge in that moment, the universe opens itself and reveals its mysteries, its hot erotic juice that explodes into the core stars of galaxies moves through you on its way to distant homelands, and you witness this all as you support each other, roll across each other's backs, touch feet, hands, limbs, head, waist, chest, face, explore the range of movement and let the universe express itself through you. And then something else completely different happens, yet likely with the same taste or quality, and you can only hope to take some of it home with you in the form of the ecstatic experience in your body. For this I have gratitude, and for this I come to the temple to shake down my walls, feel my body and experience it, experience the greater body of the universe, and remain open to the connection with fellow travelers, brothers, sisters, soulmates, the sacred expression of fellowship where there really are no strangers.
So much more happened. But I pause for a moment to be thankful for that which happened, is happening, will happening, and send to the universe my expressed desire for movement, opening, healing, dancing, partnership, heart-centered connection, revelation of earth wisdom, and love. So, dear reader, in this moment breathe with me a full, satisfying, conscious breath. And feel the effect of it on your whole body.
Many blessings to you.
composed by Shaggy
(posted on 6/10/00)