Tales from the Dance Jam #12
Oh. My. God. Let's take each of these words individually. No, let's don't. (Isn't this how I started out my last "Tales" volume??) I am continually amazed at how something as simple as movement, as toning the voice, can produce such astounding effects. The potency of action is even greater when synergized by a room full of beautiful people all experiencing their bodies - and each other's - with the overlay of tasty music from around the world. Drum dance beat freak shake groove move.
What is there to write about an experience that arises from a direct taste of Being? What is there to say about something I have not yet fully processed? I had an experience of dancing as opening doors, peeling back the layers, revealing new depths of consciousness. Bringing the good and the not-so-good to the surface, holding them there, introducing them, and just as the mind activates to wrap itself around the intricacies, transforming them into a field of a thousand flowers.
I usually have some expectation before I go to the Jam, and in noticing it have the desire to let it go. I wish to work with the principle of being receptive, of bringing the mind from its usual state of judgment to the simplicity of receiving the experience - and being fully available.
As I prepared dinner tonight, I was filled with the strong urge to dance. To move. To express. To be silent. To share vocally. To be enraptured in the bliss of the gods. But before I left I wanted to check e-mail. Fifty new messages, no time to read them all of course. Some excellent discussion on the e-mail list. Friends checking in to say where they are, and how their process is unfolding. I remembered that I wished to send an e-mail to a new friend with whom I connected very potently nearly a month ago at the Jam. We haven't communicated since, and left on the note that we didn't want to abandon each other. So I sent her a short note to let her know where I am, inquire about her job situation, and let her know how deeply penetrating our previous conversation had been. Our paths haven't crossed at the Jam since then, but when I hit the Send button I knew she would be there tonight. Indeed she was, and we proceeded to have the most amazing conversation - again - and to hum, tone, and otherwise vibrate the fabric of the universe. I have truly made - or reconnected with - an incredible friend and ally. Truly magical.
A swirling writhing dance of support, balance, smiles, hair moving, feet raising, heart-opening, chakra balancing, completely beautiful dance with three women who have the essence of God and Goddess dancing within them and radiating out with a gentle light. I am touched by the feeling of pure love, support, and kindness. Essential love radiating and shared between us.
There is often an air of ambiguous sexuality with some people at the Jam, and I'm learning to let that be what it is without expectations. I'll occasionally have an intense, yet brief, connection with a certain gentleman who never expresses any interest in connecting outside the context of the Jam. While that used to bother me, I'm fine with it now, for I see the healing value of having that energy contained within the Temple space. Anything goes there, anything is likely, and anything could take on a completely different form outside the Temple walls. So it's safe space, and I respect that. (I'm still not forming those deep, heart connections with boyfriends and lovers... hrmmm.. ;) He came up to me after passing each other the whole evening so that we could take the time to hug each other. I felt this intense burst of energy rise up from the ground, through my legs, across my groin, and got very turned on by the warmth of that energy, the warmth of his tight hug. He totally felt it too, and backed away smiling.. without even looking me in the eye said, "Whoa, I'm getting completely overwhelmed!" He walked away, and I saw him again only very briefly.
I connected again with my female friend as she was leaving, and proceeded to have more intense and heart-felt conversations at her car, and then laughed our fool heads off for the longest time. My sides hurt, I rarely get to let the core of laughter just turn itself inside out until it can't express itself any further. Wiping the tears from my eyes, we parted ways and I soon journeyed home for a long and restful sleep. It was the most delicious beginning to my birthday weekend!
composed by Shaggy
(posted on 9/24/00)